Navigating New Waters

I thought the decade of being 30 was tough. It was. No doubt about it. What I was hoping was that the decade of being 40 would be easier. It's not. Darn it. Can you believe I have actually thought about the 50's and 60's and realized it's closer than ever?!

Now I'm not like some people I know who acted and talked like they were old when they were 37 or so. I'm doing things people who are young do. I even thought about water skiing today and how I want to do it again next summer. I want to keep shooting hoops with my son. I want to camp and not be miserable while I do it. I'll leave the marathons for others. No need for me to go overboard.

But really, I like slip-on shoes now. They're easier to get on. I don't want to eat differently or exercise. I know I should, but I just don't want to. Things hurt that shouldn't hurt. I'm wearing glasses while I type this.

That not even what I really meant to talk about when I titled this post "navigating new waters" in my 40's. It just seems like there are so many new issues and ideas to work through. I have a daughter contemplating college and it's less than 2 years away now. I have a 13 year old boy who no longer wants to live with mom and dad for the rest of his life. He is actually thinking about several career choices. I have a 6 year old who doesn't need me to read things to her anymore. She can learn and discover all on her own. She remembers important details. She uses logic better than some teens. How do I navigate all of that?

And then there are the changing relationships. How to navigate that...Are the rules changing? Did I miss something? Why does connecting seem harder? What's going on? Why do people seem to have less time? How come we're not invited to dinner?

Now our country is navigating new waters as well. Tonight I watched part of the 1992 Debates between George Bush Sr., Ross Perot, and Bill Clinton. One member of the audience asked when the candidates thought a minority or a woman would be on the ticket. My daughter jumped up and yelled at the TV "18 years...It will be in 18 years!" This is a historic time for our country and we can all have a part in that. Well, as long as you are 18 and a registered voter.

I am just so grateful that I don't have to walk alone. It doesn't mean that I don't attempt to walk alone more often than I care to reveal. I think we all struggle with that. But there were times in my 30's when I could have choosen to walk alone. Instead I grabbed hold of the Hand that was always reaching for me. As I reflect, there were those times in my 20's and in my teens too. So navigating the 40's...

Are you reaching for the Hand that is being offered to you?