Grandpa and Me

Today is the 4 year anniversary of my Grandpa's death. He was 91 and really healthy. He was taking Grandma, whom he was caring for in their home, to the eye doctor when he missed his turn, pulled to the right to then make a U-turn and pulled out in front of a car. He hit the side windshield. When the ambulance arrived he told the paramedics that he didn't want to go to the hospital, but when he layed down on the stretcher he soon lost conciousness and never regained it. Apparently he had bleeding in his brain and was too old to operate to relieve the pressure.

I came to the hospital the next day and pinched his big toes, told him to wake up, told him I still had things to ask him. Realizing that it wasn't going to happen, I told him I was OK if he wanted to go Home. I know it's not all about me. But he was once my best friend and I wanted him to know I was OK.

Grandpa was born in a farm house which I believe was built by his father. He grew up to farm the same land that his father farmed and that now my father and brother farm. Grandpa lost his dad and had to help his family survive. He never failed to work hard. He also gave of himself for his church, for his God and for others around him.

He loved his 2 kids and his wife and gave them a wonderful life. I was Grandpa's first granchild. He loved to play and tease and love on me in ways I can't even remember. But I remember that he taught me to fish. I remember that he helped me learn to do some work on the farm and in the shop. I remember that he helped me process some of my understanding of theology. I remember that he fostered my love for Southern Gospel music.

I used to go to Grandpa's and perform magic shows. I used to invite him to every music program, hit him up for every fundraiser, show him all of my accomplishments. There were a few times when I chose to go to Grandpa and tell him my failures. I always remember him being proud of me. Even when I failed he saw the good in me, pointed out the best about me and reminded me that it is in God's power that I move forward and make changes where I need to.

I wish I could still ask him questions. I wish I could still share my dreams with him. I wish I could still tell him my hurts and failures. I wish I could still fish with him. Life was so much richer when I was with him. I am so much richer having been a part of his life.

I hope that when my grandkids write on the 4th anniversary of my death that they can say half of the things about me that I can say about him.

I wish you knew him too.

Navigating New Waters

I thought the decade of being 30 was tough. It was. No doubt about it. What I was hoping was that the decade of being 40 would be easier. It's not. Darn it. Can you believe I have actually thought about the 50's and 60's and realized it's closer than ever?!

Now I'm not like some people I know who acted and talked like they were old when they were 37 or so. I'm doing things people who are young do. I even thought about water skiing today and how I want to do it again next summer. I want to keep shooting hoops with my son. I want to camp and not be miserable while I do it. I'll leave the marathons for others. No need for me to go overboard.

But really, I like slip-on shoes now. They're easier to get on. I don't want to eat differently or exercise. I know I should, but I just don't want to. Things hurt that shouldn't hurt. I'm wearing glasses while I type this.

That not even what I really meant to talk about when I titled this post "navigating new waters" in my 40's. It just seems like there are so many new issues and ideas to work through. I have a daughter contemplating college and it's less than 2 years away now. I have a 13 year old boy who no longer wants to live with mom and dad for the rest of his life. He is actually thinking about several career choices. I have a 6 year old who doesn't need me to read things to her anymore. She can learn and discover all on her own. She remembers important details. She uses logic better than some teens. How do I navigate all of that?

And then there are the changing relationships. How to navigate that...Are the rules changing? Did I miss something? Why does connecting seem harder? What's going on? Why do people seem to have less time? How come we're not invited to dinner?

Now our country is navigating new waters as well. Tonight I watched part of the 1992 Debates between George Bush Sr., Ross Perot, and Bill Clinton. One member of the audience asked when the candidates thought a minority or a woman would be on the ticket. My daughter jumped up and yelled at the TV "18 years...It will be in 18 years!" This is a historic time for our country and we can all have a part in that. Well, as long as you are 18 and a registered voter.

I am just so grateful that I don't have to walk alone. It doesn't mean that I don't attempt to walk alone more often than I care to reveal. I think we all struggle with that. But there were times in my 30's when I could have choosen to walk alone. Instead I grabbed hold of the Hand that was always reaching for me. As I reflect, there were those times in my 20's and in my teens too. So navigating the 40's...

Are you reaching for the Hand that is being offered to you?

What if...

I am having a good time reading the few blogs I look at each day. Today I read one written by the Jr. Hi. Pastor at our church. He took the time to point out that amidst the economic "crisis" we are experiencing we still have running water, electricity, over 95% of us have jobs, food and freedom and choice, etc. You should check out http://godside.livejournal.com/.

It is absolutely true that we are rich beyond measure compared to much of the world we live in. But what if we lost access to our available cash tomorrow? Wait, let me phrase that better...What if YOU lost access to your available cash tomorrow? What if you could no longer purchase fuel for your vehicles? What if on Thursday your electricity, gas and water was shut off? What if men with guns began threatening your family regularly? What if your place of business shut it's doors tomorrow? What if grocery stores were looted and shelves were emptied? What if fire and rescue failed to perform their function in your city? What if the government began making decisions about things that you were accustom to deciding?

Maybe I'm alone, but I wonder about these things. Not because I think I deserve the vast richness that I enjoy as an American. I wonder because I am used to this life. I don't know what another type of existence is like. I only visited Mexico for a day. I only passed through a small portion of the Middle East. All is know is middle class West Coast America. I wonder what it would be like if all we are used were to go away.

I asked a friend what she thought about the House stopping the bailout today. Her immediate comment was "I don't worry about it. I've got God." Her response was quick and sure. She went on to say "I gave my finances over to him and said 'Good luck with this mess.'"

It is one thing to say I trust God with my finances. It's another thing to truly trust God with my finances and not worry about tomorrow. Now, I'll tell you I have made progress. I'm trusting more today than last year or 5 years ago, or 10 before that. However, I still have a long ways to go.

And just because we're Christians does't mean "What if..." couldn't happen to us. Right?

What do you think about when you wonder about the future of our country economically?

Random Rambling

Things happen to me.
I think they're funny and weird and probably not interesting. But the beauty of blogging is that I can write them anyway. Things like nearly dropping my medium Diet Dr. Pepper from Carl's Jr. but making an amazing catch. If only it was on video. Or standing at a "Don't Walk" sign, talking on my cell phone, totally missing the "walk" cycle. Or filling the Power Steering resevoir with Stop Leak Break Fluid or something like that. Or holding up the cell phone to my ear for about 2 min. before I realize that we had been disconnected when she said "just a minute." Or taking my Diet Dr. Pepper from yesterday and pouring it into my cup of Diet Dr. Pepper with ice, only to realize that the can I poured from was only water. I had finished the soda and refilled it with water, but I forgot.

If funny things like that have happened to you recently, tell me about them.

News
McCain has suspend his campaign to focus on financial crisis. Looks like Obama will do the same. Or will he? He almost has to. Can Democrats and Republicans truly work together? Is the government action regarding the crisis and their potential bailout just rewarding banks for bad lending, and borrowers for not paying them back? One of my friends thinks so and says "Heckuva system we've got."

Entertainment
Lindsay Lohan likes girls, or does she? Clay Aiken likes men, that is confirmed. Does that surprise you? I'm not upset by that. I'm upset by the fact that he had to try to hide for so long. I don't condone homosexuality. I also do not condone people treating others badly because of certain sins. Plenty of hurtful gossipers are accepted in the Church all the time without repercussions from their actions.

Society
Did you know that at the K-2 Back to School Night the Principal had to ask parents to determine if their child really needed to bring a cell phone to school. Really? K-2? He said he saw a 2nd grader making a call as she got off the bus. Maybe she was calling her broker regarding her investments.

So, thats kinda random and I kinda rambled. If you read this, you should really make a short comment. It's nice to know. The other day I actually got a comment from someone I don't know from somewhere I've never been who actually liked something I said. If you don't like what I said you're welcome to comment too. This is America!

Make A Difference

I think everyone wants to make a difference. I think that desire begins sometime around 8th grade. That is the time one begins to see a bigger world than what is right in front of their nose. It’s when kids begin to think about careers, not because being a fireman looks cool, but because being a fireman will include me in saving others. It’s when kids realize they don’t want to live with mom and dad forever, not because it isn’t good there, but because they can someday have a family of their own to guide and mold and begin to set free.

By 11th grade, one’s focus shifts from the drama of fitting in to the drama of moving on. There are credits to gain. There are applications to complete. There are requirements to fulfill. There are decisions to ponder, savings accounts to build, paths to choose. At the core of these decisions is the desire to make a difference.

For some it is to make a difference in one’s own life. Maybe they want to be richer than their parents. Maybe they want more fame or prestige. But for many it is the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. Why else would someone choose to complete a teaching degree to teach in a private school rather than become a financial genius in a Fortune 500 company? Please don’t get me wrong. Financial guru’s can make an incredible difference but it’s often a very different process than a teacher in the trenches.

For many years I tried to make a difference in the lives of people. I taught school. I worked in church ministry. My profession involved trying to make a difference. However I missed making a difference in my own life. I neglected my own emotional well-being as well as the emotional well-being of the people closest to me. When I left those familiar professions I struggled with my own identity because it was so wrapped up in “what I did”. My emotional self and the emotions of those around me continued to suffer.

So now, in the 5th decade of my life, I have to make a difference in my own life. I am chin deep in looking at who I am and who I should be. I’m re-learning how to make a difference in the lives of those closest to me. I’m using music to make a difference in the lives of others in ways different from how I did before. Now, my music is being used to help charities impact others.

The hard part of this is that it’s the 5th decade of my life. It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks. I wish I would have spent the right amount of energy when I was young making a difference in my own life. I wish I had built in the emotional and relational strength that truly went deep. I wish I had prepared the parts of me that really count rather than relying on my natural charisma and superficial strengths. So now I am re-thinking and re-learning, re-evaluating and re-focusing.

Why did I blog all of this? I guess just to put it out there that I’ve got a lot of growing to do. I’m giving it a shot. Maybe you have a lot of growing to do and needed to hear that you’re not alone. If you think you don’t have much growing to do, maybe you should look a little closer and check your own honesty.

Do you Google yourself?

I think it’s really strange to see what I have done in my life as I read Google.

-I never knew that I cared about this issue…DON HOFER: “We live in a state today that is in dire need of new housing.”
-I didn’t know I started a company…Don Hofer Construction company profile in Huron, SD.
-I can’t remember starting an account with the Rock Hill Bicycle Club…Don Hofer. Member. Real Name: Donald Hofer; Email: n/a; Account Created: May 4th 2006.
-I don’t even know what this means…Don Hofer" wrote: “The other day our Event Viewer stopped working…”
-I haven’t been Vice President of anything that I recall…Vice President Don Hofer says the state needs such development.
-Apparently I’ve joined an artist colony with these folks…Elizabeth Gawronski, Johanna Hanks, Don Hofer. Marion Hylton, Ruth Ilg, Kate Lagaly, Tora Johnson.
-I’ve studied oil and watercolors with these people…Bill Haney, Bill Christ, Don Hofer, and Inez Gornall.
-I’ve guess I’ve been making people smile…"...Last month brought us the work of Don Hofer from Ludlow, VT, whose pen and ink prints of a variety of domestic and wild animals made us smile."
-I guess I produce wine…DON HOFER – KILER CANYON VINEYARD
-And I don’t recall being a Superintendent…the board asked Beach Superintendent Don Hofer about the use of Old Silver Beach for the wedding.
-I’m just not that good with technology…Donald Hofer IBM Research Division

It is fun to see the real me out there in cyberspace.

Just one voice
About Me. Don Hofer: husband, father, conductor, slowly on The Path, newly converted blogger, not sure why anyone will care. View my complete profile ...voiceofdon.blogspot.com/ - 62k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

Don Hofer Facebook
This is Don Hofer's public search listing on Facebook. Don's friends can view photos, videos and more. Everyone can join Facebook.www.facebook.com/people/Don_Hofer/785015483 - 19k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

Voices of Hope Choir About Us
Don and Jill Hofer have a story to tell. It is not a story they chose on their own, however it is now theirs to tell: It is a story of how Grace and Hope is ...www.voicesofhopechoir.org/About%20Us.htm - 56k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

California’s Crimson River Quartet Celebrates 10th Anniversary ...
That group, Mission Viejo, CA based Crimson River Quartet, will celebrate ... Joining them will be current member Don Hofer, plus past members Tom Moore, ...sogospelnews.com/index/features/comments/1224/ - 23k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

Peace In The Midst of The Storm?!

I think the economy is in a very bad way. Today we saw Lehman Brothers file Chapter 11 and Merrill Lynch sold to Bank of America. AIG is in trouble. This is territory that I have never had to even think about before. The Economist I am listening to is saying “…America is broke…”

Today someone I know went to his bank and took out most of his money, which is a small drop in a very large bucket, but he did so none the less. The reason was rumors of the bank closing as soon as tomorrow. Rumors were substantiated by the board member of a large credit union. Several others who were consulted suggested the way of safety.

My friend isn’t rich. But everything he has was in this one institution. He had no liquid cash savings available for immediate use. It was all in the bank. He didn’t close his accounts, but took most of what he had, out.

My other friend isn’t rich either. But she had College Savings funds in that bank as well as her regular checking and savings. She actually closed her accounts and liquefied everything. She was very freaked out about the rumors of closure.

What I am wondering in all this is the FDIC Insurance on deposits up to $100,000. But how quickly can the Feds get us cash if our financial institution were to close its doors tomorrow. You and I have bills that are due Thursday or Friday or Monday. If your bank is locked, how will those bills get paid? I believe the government assistance would take weeks at the least and months is probably more realistic.

Insiders at the branch told my friends that she has her money there and isn’t moving it. She said she would be worried about losing her job. Yet she also said that she would have nearly as late a notice as any of the clients. One bank employee told my friend he hadn’t even heard the rumors.

Well, in another town in Oregon, over 50 people were lined up pulling their money. The bank had to issue cashier’s check because they ran out of cash. My friend said there was no line at her branch.

This should be an interesting week. I wonder if I can trust God more in the midst of the storm?